How About A Little Humor in Our Time of Need

[mike]

Police came around last night and told me my dogs were chasing people on MTB's. My dogs don't even have MTB's. (Big groan)

I could not keep my response to a groan, sorry...

 

[kingaucho]

So you know!

 

[SnakeCharmer]

Prediction: There will be a minor baby boom in nine months. In 2033 when these children turn thirteen, we can call this generation of children the quaran-teens!

Actually, those of us with teenage kids now have “quaran-teens”.

 

[Faust29]

Do not Google The Aristocrats/Gilbert Gottfried.
NSFW/NSFL
Don't do it.
You have been warned.

If you can post that, I can start looking for Sam Kinison clips.

Kinison... I had the pleasure of sneaking into one of his shows when I was in high school.

 

[Luis]

I bought a pair of sneakers from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day.

 

[rossage]

If you can post that, I can start looking for Sam Kinison clips.

Kinison... I had the pleasure of sneaking into one of his shows when I was in high school.

What? Just some good "family" humor

 

[Mikie]

I bought a pair of sneakers from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day.

See you next Fall!

 

[mike]

Hey, does Honda have a dealer joke manual or something?? @Luis is killing it here.

 

[rossage]

Hey, does Honda have a dealer joke manual or something?? @Luis is killing it here.

He's stealing the jokes from Jan, the Toyota lady.
Sick.

 

[Cyclotourist]

Do not Google The Aristocrats/Gilbert Gottfried.
NSFW/NSFL
Don't do it.
You have been warned.

"...The Aristocrats!!!"

 

[Runs with Scissors]

If you can post that, I can start looking for Sam Kinison clips.

Kinison... I had the pleasure of sneaking into one of his shows when I was in high school.

"See that? It's SAND!!! ....move to where the FOOD IS!!!!!"

One of the best ever.

 

[Cyclotourist]

"See that? It's SAND!!! ....move to where the FOOD IS!!!!!"

One of the best ever.

We have deserts in America... nobody lives there! (apologies to @Redman )

 

[fos'l]

I asked my wife if I was the only one she was ever with. She said "Yes, all the rest were nines and tens."

 

[mike]

I asked my wife if I was the only one she was ever with. She said "Yes, all the rest were nines and tens."

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'd like a remote split-screen joke joust with Bob and Luis outdoing each other. I'd burn calories watching that.

 

[Faust29]

He's stealing the jokes from Jan, the Toyota lady.
Sick.

Neither one can hold a candle to Progressive Flo.

 

[BonsaiNut]

My wife says nothing rhymes with “orange.” And I said, “No, it doesn’t!”

Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says, "Oh man, it's hot in here." The other shrieks, "OH MY GOD! A talking muffin!"

Who is this Rorschach guy, and why did he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food here."

 

[Redman]

We have deserts in America... nobody lives there! (apologies to @Redman )

All good amigo. The desert hasn’t been too bad so far

 

[Runs with Scissors]

We have deserts in America... nobody lives there!

Well, we do - southern Californica, dontcha know - but we also figured out irrigation....

 

[SnakeCharmer]

Well, we do - southern Californica, dontcha know - but we also figured out irrigation....

"Californica"?

As in, the Country of California?

 

[Runs with Scissors]

A psychologist shows a patient a blank sheet of white paper, and asks "What do you see?"

The patient answers "two polar bears fornicating in a blizzard."

 

[Runs with Scissors]

"Californica"?

As in, the Country of California?

Okay...

 

[jimbowho]

I know my wife's cheating on me. Every time I come home the Parrott says "quick out the window"
Rodney Dangerfield.

 

[herzalot]

"My mother in law broke up our marriage!"
"Oh, how'd that happen?"
"One day my wife comes home from work, and she finds us in bed together..."

 

[~JB~]

What did the old blind man say as he passed the fish market? Hello Ladies...

 

[mike]

All good amigo. The desert hasn’t been too bad so far

View attachment 64346

It's April, brother.

Nice pic!!!!!


@~JB~: I'm calling foul.

 

[fos'l]

Maybe in bad taste.
An individual who was despondent called the Suicide Hotline and was rerouted to a Call Center in Pakistan. He explained his situation, they got very excited and asked if he could drive a truck.

 

[Stkx66]

All good amigo. The desert hasn’t been too bad so far

View attachment 64346

Pic near Kingman?

 

[Runs with Scissors]

Maybe in bad taste.
An individual who was despondent called the Suicide Hotline and was rerouted to a Call Center in Pakistan. He explained his situation, they got very excited and asked if he could drive a truck.

Yeah, it's bad taste, but funny. In a macabre sorta way.

 

[Runs with Scissors]

The physics teacher asked "which is heavier, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?"

Water, of course. Butane is the lighter fluid.

 

[Redman]

Pic near Kingman?

Negative. This is at the southern border of Henderson & Sloan Canyon National Conservation Area looking east towards Boulder City/Lake Mead. The pic attached is looking the other direction to the west.