How About A Little Humor in Our Time of Need

[Runs with Scissors]

I rode my bike.

But was it memorable?

 

[herzalot]

But was it memorable?

Evidently, it was funny!

 

[Runs with Scissors]

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

I’ll let you know.

I'm still chortling over this one. My daughter (age 21) had no idea what I was talking about when I sent her the text word for word...until I added "which comes first."

I despair for our chilluns.

 

[herzalot]

I'm still chortling over this one. My daughter (age 21) had no idea what I was talking about when I sent her the text word for word...until I added "which comes first."

I despair for our chilluns.

My daughter burst out laughing when she read it! I asked her why it's funny. She said "One of them will come first! Then she quickly added, "but what if they are packaged together?"

There is hope!

 

[hill^billy]

True story..cannell plunge.. at the top.. with some climbing...we come upon what looks like an ebike battery... On the trail.. my friend picks it up.. puts it into pak...
Few minutes later.. guy pushing e bike w o battery .. it fell off on the downhill chunk..
My friend, "u missing something?"
Never seen anyone so happy

Wow!!! You saved his life! To funny!

 

[herzalot]

True story..cannell plunge.. at the top.. with some climbing...we come upon what looks like an ebike battery... On the trail.. my friend picks it up.. puts it into pak...
Few minutes later.. guy pushing e bike w o battery .. it fell off on the downhill chunk..
My friend, "u missing something?"
Never seen anyone so happy

I assume you asked for "carbon offset" payment?

 

[fos'l]

Ok, the last suggestion went over like a pregnant pole vaulter. How about some non-recession-proof statements like:
EXXON-Mobil laid off 25 congressmen.

 

[Faust29]

Ok, the last suggestion went over like a pregnant pole vaulter. How about some non-recession-proof statements like:
EXXON-Mobil laid off 25 congressmen.

 

[SnakeCharmer]

Deleted

 

[mike]

Deleted

LOL!!!!!!!!!! Best one yet!!!

I rode my bike.

This induced an honest chuckle.

 

[Luis]

Comic Sans, Helvetica, Times New Roman walk into a bar.
“Get out!” Shouts the barman. “We don’t serve your type”

 

[herzalot]

How many Radiohead fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. The lightbulb changes you.




(See, cuz they're so deep and philosophical... and existentialist and... oh never mind)

 

[Luis]

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

 

[Faust29]

iPhone chargers should be called Apple Juice.

 

[herzalot]

Comic Sans, Helvetica, Times New Roman walk into a bar.
“Get out!” Shouts the barman. “We don’t serve your type”

You are a font of humor!

 

[Runs with Scissors]

When you just have to have that last shot at Mickey's coaster...

https://abc7.com/man-caught-breaking-into-disneyland-amid-closure-police-say/6116969/

 

[herzalot]

When you just have to have that last shot at Mickey's coaster...

https://abc7.com/man-caught-breaking-into-disneyland-amid-closure-police-say/6116969/

I don't even need to click on the link to know how Clark Griswold that is!

 

[Grego]

Two men steal a calendar. They both got six months.

 

[jimbowho]

Two Mtn biker girls go to "Bobs bike shack" in Holland. They score Chameleon's and carbon wheels and some padded spandex. It was getting dark but they rode them home anyway. Betty says follow me I know a short cut, after cruising through a small village Wanda said she's never came this way before. Betty replied, I think it's the cobblestones.

 

[herzalot]

Two Mtn biker girls go to "Bobs bike shack" in Holland. They score Chameleon's and carbon wheels and some padded spandex. It was getting dark but they rode them home anyway. Betty says follow me I know a short cut, after cruising through a small village Wanda said she's never came this way before. Betty replied, I think it's the cobblestones.

Groan.....

 

[Cyclotourist]

Prediction: There will be a minor baby boom in nine months. In 2033 when these children turn thirteen, we can call this generation of children the quaran-teens!

 

[Oaken]

 

[Oaken]

A bear walks into a bar.
He says “I’ll have a shot.............and a beer”

The bartender says “Hey why the long pause?”


The bear replies “I don’t know, I was born with ‘em.”

 

[Danimal]

Prediction: There will be a minor baby boom in nine months. In 2033 when these children turn thirteen, we can call this generation of children the quaran-teens!

I'll stick to calling them the coronials, thank you very much....

 

[herzalot]

View attachment 64226

Need to add a warning NSFC!! I played the video with my daughter watching. Ooops.

But it was funny.

 

[fos'l]

Like isn't enough for some of those; need a "love" button.

 

[fos'l]

Police came around last night and told me my dogs were chasing people on MTB's. My dogs don't even have MTB's. (Big groan)

 

[Stkx66]

 

[herzalot]

View attachment 64327

But there's nothing ther... OOOOhhhhh - I get it!

 

[rossage]

Do not Google The Aristocrats/Gilbert Gottfried.
NSFW/NSFL
Don't do it.
You have been warned.