The Joke Thread

[Lost Kiwi]

What do you call a deer with only one eye?

No idea

What do you call a deer with only one eye and a bleeding nose?

No bloody idea

What do you call a deer with only one eye, a bleeding nose and no legs?

Still no bloody idea

 

[blixet]

 

[BonsaiNut]

View attachment 72669

From 39 years ago... how times don't change

 

[Danimal]

View attachment 72669

From 39 years ago... how times don't change

I dont know...notice the hanger as an antenna, don't see that these days

 

[Rumpled]

I dont know...notice the hanger as an antenna, don't see that these days

Cordcutters now trying to figure those out.

 

[Grego]

I dont know...notice the hanger as an antenna, don't see that these days

That's not a flat screen either...

 

[Luis]

Sure, I drink brake fluid.



But I can stop anytime.

 

[SnakeCharmer]

Sure, I drink brake fluid.



But I can stop anytime.

 

[sir crashalot]

What's Coronaviruses porn star name?
....Long Covid

 

[blixet]

 

[sir crashalot]

What do you call a hand job from the Terminator?
An Arnold Palmer

 

[herzalot]

What do you call a hand job from the Terminator?
An Arnold Palmer

Now I will never be able to order that drink again without thinking of this….

 

[Danimal]

Now I will never be able to order that drink again without thinking of this….

And get a chuckle every time!

 

[sir crashalot]

Hand job from Conan also works

 

[sir crashalot]

Hear about Sesame Streets new STD awareness mascot?
Syphilupagus

 

[BonsaiNut]

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”

“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

 

[BonsaiNut]

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, “Hey, they named a drink after you!”

“Really?” replies the grasshopper. “There’s a drink named Stan?”

 

[H2oChick]

What did the bed say when the blanket fell off?
Oh sheet!

 

[herzalot]

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?





a flat minor

 

[solislbc]

What do you call a Samoan sleeping on the couch?





Junior Falafasofa

 

[bvader]

A string walks into a bar and orders a Whiskey.

Bartender replies "Get outta here we ...we don't serve your kind!"

String goes out tussles his hair and walks back in and orders another Whiskey.

Bar tender: "Hey aren't you that String fella!?"

"Frayed Knot!"