It's been a rough several weeks

blixet

blixet

iMTB Rockstah
After my MIL was admitted to emergency and then the ICU with Covid 19 she didn't respond to treatment, so after a week she was discharged to home hospice care. She battled for 3 more heartbreaking weeks before succumbing to respiratory complications the week before Thanksgiving. Another younger relative died in the same circumstances that week. Eff me.

Thanksgiving was hard. The first time in 40 yrs I hadn't spent it with my wife's family. More like 68 yrs for her. The pandemic effed everything up and we couldn't have a funeral, just a burial which wasn't until last week.

Not a whole lot has gone right since. I have tried to take over settling final affairs, but there is a trust involved and I have no legal standing. At this point, I have pretty much reached my last nerve with all of the bullshit.

Found myself awake at midnight last night so I was going through files of yrs and yrs of crap that hadn't been culled in forever. Maybe tonight I sleep.

I still ride every day. But spend too much time in my head instead of in flow with the trail. This too will pass.
 
blixet said:
After my MIL was admitted to emergency and then the ICU with Covid 19 she didn't respond to treatment, so after a week she was discharged to home hospice care. She battled for 3 more heartbreaking weeks before succumbing to respiratory complications the week before Thanksgiving. Another younger relative died in the same circumstances that week. Eff me.

Thanksgiving was hard. The first time in 40 yrs I hadn't spent it with my wife's family. More like 68 yrs for her. The pandemic effed everything up and we couldn't have a funeral, just a burial which wasn't until last week.

Not a whole lot has gone right since. I have tried to take over settling final affairs, but there is a trust involved and I have no legal standing. At this point, I have pretty much reached my last nerve with all of the bullshit.

Found myself awake at midnight last night so I was going through files of yrs and yrs of crap that hadn't been culled in forever. Maybe tonight I sleep.

I still ride every day. But spend too much time in my head instead of in flow with the trail. This too will pass.
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Very sorry to hear this. I too have lost some due to the virus. More people in my outer circle are infected this time than in the first round. I have lost sleep for months and I have aged more this year than any other year before. The limits in place due to the pandemic are affecting all of us. Everyone is suffering. Together, we can get through this. I draw strength from everyone here and I am passing some on to you now @blixet to help you get through this. Be strong.
 
Geez...
I’m thankful you have an outlet like here to share. Just typing it out I know it helps. It’s been crazy for all of us but we need to pull together to just be there for one another, even on a silly little mountain bike website. I’m so thankful we can be here for you.
I have a buddy who I work with who is an ex Marine. He has shared lots of challenges in life and I learned from him that there is always the other side, and we just got to put one foot in front of the other.
But friends like you got here, can help carry you through bud!

Just know we are here brothah. Share all you like. I too will pray for you and your loved ones. PM me any time, I’m there for you. We can talk on the phone as well. I have a few meetings tomorrow, but I can always sneak in a call.

;)Mikie
 
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Dang, @blixet , so sorry to hear. You are correct; this too shall pass. But I know that does little to take away the pain when you're in the thick of it, and it's okay to feel and emote about that. Don't under estimate the therapeutic effects of healthy endeavors even if you still feel overcome with thoughts and emotions while doing them.
 
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blixet said:
Thank you all for your kind words and thoughtful support. I appreciate it deeply. I rarely share anything serious, not just here but in general. I am more stoic than emotive and cuddly. But it has helped me to let others in a bit.
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I'm suuuper cuddly, and I know @Mikie is too! As soon as we are all vaccinated or immune or whatever, we're gonna find you and squeeeeeze you!
 
@blixet - My condolences to you and your family. It’s been a rough year for all so adding the pain of losing loved ones just piles onto that.

My MIL passed away in May after only being diagnosed with cancer a few weeks before her passing. She was only 65 and would have turned 66 the day before Thanksgiving. So I feel your pain in a similar way with the holidays etc.

The hardest part for me was and still is watching how much pain my wife is in every day. They were really close and my MIL was our Nanny up until she got sick. Being there for my wife is the best I could do, I’ve listened to her, given her advice, and been a shoulder for her to cry on.

It didn’t help that my wife was also in charge of all the finances and arrangements after her mom’s passing, I tried to help as much as I could with that stuff too. We just had her funeral in October and it was very very small due to covid.

Try to keep your head up and your shoulder available for your wife. Sometimes I’ll find my wife sobbing in the middle of the night and all she needs is a hug, at least that’s all that I can offer.

Keep riding!
 
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