Balancing Family/Riding (other stuff) Life

herzalot said:
Swung into Cyclelogical in Dana Point today to look for a fork box to ship my fork to Fox. They didn't have one. Then I looked at a couple of kids' bikes. My daughter is on a 20" wheeled Performance brand mt. bike, with grip shift that she can't shift. Actually, she can shift into a harder gear (releasing cable) but can't rotate the shifter to get into an easier gear. That means I have to shift for her when she gets to a hill - definitely kills the flow and impedes learning.

So I had my 7 yo daughter ride the Norco 20" full suspension rig they had in the shop, just to see if she could manage the trigger shifters. Yup - no problem with the Shimano triggers. Then she started falling in love with the bike. Maxxis tires, disc brakes, 11 spd. full suspension. Ridiculous. Still heavy. Why does a kid who fits onto a 20" wheeled bike need a $1500 heavy full-sus bike? Well, She loved it...

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She was not exactly dressed for trying bikes, but she wanted to give it a whirl. That's my girl!

No...we are NOT buying this bike for her. But I will order new shifters for her current bike.
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Just go buy it. New bike days are awesome
 
Did I post the new Norco?

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Cornholio said:
Yes! Ride little ones, ride! My boy just turned 2 on Monday and habitually asks “bike” “mut” (that means helmet). He taps his head when he wants to ride and that’s why I bought a BMX bike.
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To infinity and beyond!

I’ll throw in my experiences. I have a 15 and 17 year old. I hauled those two up Santiago Canyon road behind my Schwinn Moab almost every Saturday for 2-3 years.

Herz mentioned he has to keep his riding local. My advice would be to live riding distance to a trail you are willing to ride 75% of your miles, if possible. In the summer I csn sit down to dinner with the family and still spin out a quick lap at Oaks before dark.

Consider a road bike. my wife never caught the MTB bug but she started riding road when the youngest was 7, and 4 years later I ended up losing an MTB season to following her around as she trained for an Ironman.

One year when the oldest was ~7 I planned a trip to gooseberry Mesa with a couple buddies. Hours before I was about to leave it became obvious that I probably shouldn’t go. That’s just how it is with little ones and a frazzled working mom.

Final piece of advice: talk the wife into taking the next few years off. We made some really drastic lifestyle changes so that she could stay home for the kids’ elementary school years. Best decision we ever made together. It’s really not as impossible as we wanted to believe, you can adjust. But yeah, it was hard. You really really have to want a balanced family life.

Expect that the car you drive today will be the car you’re driving when she goes back to work. You might have to sell one too. Our total eating out budget was $40/month. I walked or rode to the grocery store to save on gas. We live in a house roughly half the size of our professional peers. My coworkers all live in more prestigious school districts.

But having a happy healthy wife is infinitely more rewarding than a shiny new shuttle truck. It is a status symbol-the elementary school moms all talk, and the stay at home moms are envied far more than the ones driving a shiny Denali or range rover.

And she almost never complained when I went riding.
 
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tick said:
Final piece of advice: talk the wife into taking the next few years off. We made some really drastic lifestyle changes so that she could stay home for the kids’ elementary school years. Best decision we ever made together. It’s really not as impossible as we wanted to believe, you can adjust. But yeah, it was hard. You really really have to want a balanced family life.
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... or talk to the wife about you taking the years off if she's working. I'll second everything @tick said about adjustments and a balanced family life, especially since I was always the primary earner. I've been a stay at home dad for just over a year now with my kids in elementary school and it's been great sharing this time with my kids. I never would have thought it would be possible for us, and I'm not sure how many years we can make it work, but so far it's been great ... and we'll always have these years to appreciate no matter how long it lasts. It's a whole different lifestyle focused more on time and activities rather than "stuff".
 
@DangerDirtyD,

Riding bikes may be our first choice for recreation, but there are other options, and they can be exploited as surrogates for riding. Even the lame ass gym has its place. Think of them as cross-training – because they are. :)

Setting milestones for oneself can incite motivation. Make them reasonable, and don't sweat it if you miss one.

I'm not much of a case study for balancing family obligations and recreation, so take my advice FWIW. Power on! :geek:
 
Good thread, and an age old question I suppose. This actually came up in our house today, as I saw my wife mapping out our schedule and it didn't include any ride time for me. The ensuing discussion basically boiled down to her saying it's starting to stress her out that it's just assumed that I can have a large chunk of a day every weekend to ride. She was right, though. Without taking a step back I do just assume I'm going to ride, though I try to leave it up to her when I will do it. I actually got pulled into mountain biking because I needed an outlet other than just working out that I could do regularly, but that wouldn't pull me away from home for full days, or multiple days at a time like my other pursuits did. Of course, the bug bit much harder than I intended, and as is the way of things I want to ride more, longer, and further from home. My wife has no interest in mtb, and frankly I'm grateful for that. We snowboard, hike, camp, etc. together, so it's nice to have something separate from her, plus with no family here to help out with the rugrat it would be hard trying to execute on riding together anyway. Same with the kid - she's caught up in her dance, and we'll cruise bike paths together, but I've already seen what snowboarding with my kid is like (great and maddening all at the same time), so I'm happy not to have to do that dance with mountain biking also. I'm fortunate that I'm my own boss, and don't have to adhere to a traditional work schedule, so I usually work 3 days a week for 14 - 16 hours per day, and then another 3-4 hour day for admin type stuff. That generally allows a day for a midweek ride, and then one weekend day for a second. It doesn't always work out that tidy, but that's the template anyway. I think a lot of it also just comes down to mindset, and a certain degree of acceptance that I'm going to catch some sh!t from time to time, as well as a willingness to take one for the team when necessary. Battles must be picked. I'm actually washing my wife's car tomorrow morning instead of riding, and when I bit my tongue and agreed to take this weekend off from riding she later volunteered that I should try to go in the afternoon while my daughter is at dance. Luckily she does see how much riding has done for me on many levels, and even finds it attractive.
 
buggravy said:
...Luckily she does see how much riding has done for me on many levels, and even finds it attractive.
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This!

I am lucky that my wife completely understands that part of the formula. She used to ride with me before we had our kid, but medical conditions and priorities shifted for her. I get plenty of latitude for riding on weekends, but I need to keep it to a half day or less. Usually mornings. Luckily, I have plenty of great riding around me and I don't get bored riding the same 10 great trails over and over. I also have snow sports and surfing to mix it up.
 
herzalot said:
This!

I am lucky that my wife completely understands that part of the formula. She used to ride with me before we had our kid, but medical conditions and priorities shifted for her. I get plenty of latitude for riding on weekends, but I need to keep it to a half day or less. Usually mornings. Luckily, I have plenty of great riding around me and I don't get bored riding the same 10 great trails over and over. I also have snow sports and surfing to mix it up.
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I think our programs are not dissimilar.
 
Ffft, as a stay at home mama of 3, my husband knew I needed to get out and run whenever possible! He quickly recognized that I was a better wife and Mom because of the outlet, which was a blessing when I added mtb to my routine and eventually swimming and triathlon.
All that to say, just act like a lunatic when you don’t ride for a while and maybe you’ll get more hall passes :Roflmao:sneaky::thumbsup:
JK, you guys are good husbands and fathers to even consider this a dilemma...good for you!
Now go figure out a fair way to get out and play in the dirt;)!
“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”
 
mountaingirl sara said:
Ffft, as a stay at home mama of 3, my husband knew I needed to get out and run whenever possible! He quickly recognized that I was a better wife and Mom because of the outlet, which was a blessing when I added mtb to my routine and eventually swimming and triathlon.
All that to say, just act like a lunatic when you don’t ride for a while and maybe you’ll get more hall passes :Roflmao:sneaky::thumbsup:
JK, you guys are good husbands and fathers to even consider this a dilemma...good for you!
Now go figure out a fair way to get out and play in the dirt;)!
“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”
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Ok so I tinkered a little bit instead of riding and shaved 144 grams from the 40 lbs (with coffee and Fanny pack) commuter. Thanks @Runs with Scissors!
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it kinda felt like I got to hang out with you, kinda.
 
More details in another thread, but I've started hitting the gym at 4:45 in the morning before work. I'm hoping it's just a habit at this point. I feel 10x better through the day, my general fitness and fitness on the bike has improved and it has just given me more motivation and energy for the family. I'm actually looking forward to night rides soon. This makes it easier to get out when the family is already winding down, so you have time to yourself after family time.
 
kazlx said:
More details in another thread, but I've started hitting the gym at 4:45 in the morning before work. I'm hoping it's just a habit at this point. I feel 10x better through the day, my general fitness and fitness on the bike has improved and it has just given me more motivation and energy for the family. I'm actually looking forward to night rides soon. This makes it easier to get out when the family is already winding down, so you have time to yourself after family time.
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Good for you, a routine is key!!
When mine were little I’d run late at night, once they were snuggled into bed..do whatcha gotta do:thumbsup:
 
mountaingirl sara said:
Good for you, a routine is key!!
When mine were little I’d run late at night, once they were snuggled into bed..do whatcha gotta do:thumbsup:
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Thanks! I've never been a morning person, but have just mentally come to grasp with the fact that I need to do something consistent to stay active. Before work is the only way I can stay consistent. There's just to many variations after work that I end up changing plans, skipping, whatever else and then fall off the wagon.
 
4 year old and a 3 month old here. Our closest family support is a bit over 6,500 miles away. As the others say get creative. The best chance I have of getting on the dirt is to start early on a Saturday or Sunday morning and keep it close to the house. I aim to be home by 9am when the rest of the house is just finishing up breakfast.
The only other way I can get pedal time in otherwise has been to start commuting into work. I drive part way in and then ride the rest (shout out to whoever it was on the San Diego Creek Trail this morning in an imtb top btw!) I'd rather be riding dirt but if I don't get some form of exercise regularly I get like a bear with a sore head.
Can't wait for the rest of stuff to finally arrive, I have a tow bar for dragging the 4 year old round on. It'll be good to get him out to some of the parks. Miss our adventures together, plus dragging around all that extra weight makes for a good (albeit slow) work out!
 
DangerDirtyD said:
Ok so I tinkered a little bit instead of riding and shaved 144 grams from the 40 lbs (with coffee and Fanny pack) commuter. Thanks @Runs with Scissors!
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it kinda felt like I got to hang out with you, kinda.
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My first pedal strike on the new to me Kona WahWahs! A speedy left turn from a commercial driveway onto a sidewalk, and sparks were a'flyin! No pogo, though, so allz well. OK everyone can relax now and go back to work.
 
kazlx said:
Thanks! I've never been a morning person, but have just mentally come to grasp with the fact that I need to do something consistent to stay active. Before work is the only way I can stay consistent. There's just to many variations after work that I end up changing plans, skipping, whatever else and then fall off the wagon.
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How you doing @kazlx these days? I settled on a Friday or Saturday midnight ride to get my rocks off, to get on the rocks, to rock n’ roll. Are you riding these days? Do you wanna?
 
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