Old but worthy crash confessions, Still funny?

jimbowho

jimbowho

Well-Known Member
Long ago at the very west end of Roscoe, we called it the "horsetrails" from there I would make my way to rocky peak. On the way back, and almost to the trailhead was a long semi strait hard packed 8'ft wide down grade with good vision. It was hot, I tied my jersey in a knot on my top tube. At about 20 maybe 23 mph coasting, my jersey came loose and landed on the back of my front wheel (not suspension corrected)(I did not save it) Two girls on horses came along about seven minutes later, and one asked sir are you all right? That made it worse! The Sir part. So I got up, I told them I tipped over pretty hard, we had some laughs, pulled my shirt out of the fork and continued on.
 
Wrecked on my B-day this year and broke a rib going down Toads in Bakersfield. I went up too high on the switchback and the tire dug right into the loose stuff and insert bar into ribs. Had a nice ride back up the mountain to get to my truck. Spent part of the day in the Urgent care and it will be a great memory.
 
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Going uphill between Modjeska Peak and Santiago Peak. Tearing along at a blazing 2.5 mph uphill. Yes, 2.5 mph. Tires slide left, I go right and next thing I know I'm looking up at the sky asking WTF? I admit it...I crashed going uphill at less than 3 mph. Luckily only bashed the knee with a superficial scrape and completed the ride to the peak.
 
Just did the same thing on Wednesday RwS! I was climbing this trail
b1fb8377627fdfc89bda7689107e3441.jpg

at about 2.8 mph and my front tire hit a baseball sized rock. Couldn't get my right foot unclipped so I fell to the low side landing with the nose of my saddle in the middle of my back. I was stuck there for a few seconds contemplating how to get out of this mess without rolling down the hill. Thankfully a dirty jersey was all that was incurred.
 

When you know someone is going to crash, but insists on doing it, get ready to film it from a good angle.
 
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Climbing the wrong route up Mountain Goat in Santiago Oaks, my chain broke for the third time while really stomping on the pedals. Smashed my nuts into my stem, then fell over backward while still clipped in. I was happy. No pics, but perhaps Chris P can provide an artist's rendering.

Epilogue:
I later discovered that my chain was breaking due to a bent rear gear that pushed the plates apart when in that gear - my 28t 3rd gear.
 
So there I was, just rolling down Sunset Blvd in Hollywood, got a 12 pack under my arm.....
Then there she was. An ebony goddess, she propped her leg up on the bus stop bench, the wind blew her skirt up, I saw ass.....from across the street. ..damn...CRASH!!!!!
I rode straight into a bus bench, went over the bars, and ate Sh!t on Sunset Blvd. Beers went everywhere except my mouth.
And while beers spun,and broke and spilled their goodness on the sidewalk, the hooker across the street laughed at my dilemma, and hopped into a car, and.......
Life in Hollywood. ....
 
rossage said:
So there I was, just rolling down Sunset Blvd in Hollywood, got a 12 pack under my arm.....
Then there she was. An ebony goddess, she propped her leg up on the bus stop bench, the wind blew her skirt up, I saw ass.....from across the street. ..damn...CRASH!!!!!
I rode straight into a bus bench, went over the bars, and ate sh!t on Sunset Blvd. Beers went everywhere except my mouth.
And while beers spun,and broke and spilled their goodness on the sidewalk, the hooker across the street laughed at my dilemma, and hopped into a car, and.......
Life in Hollywood. ....
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That is hilarious Rossage! Thanks for making me laugh!
 
Found an old video I forgot about from my 20s:


Hanging out with the guys on big bikes, riding my weight weenie XC race bike. Figured a bit of armor and reckless courage could get me through the same unforgiving mtn terrain they were riding, but they saw this coming.[/media]
 
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With Chrispy on this one. Your line looked way better than the dude before you...

...Back in your 20's? Tell me you are still in your 20's... o_O
 
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Varaxis said:
[vimeo]34355882[/vimeo]

When you know someone is going to crash, but insists on doing it, get ready to film it from a good angle.
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Hmmm. Big rocks...No helmet... No brains...
Sorry, that's a guy I just will absolutely not ride with. Too much of a liability.
Funny video. Double whammy in a .34 second clip.
 
This one is actually new...like, yesterday...

Again, going maybe 3 mph, turning around at the top of Sierra Peak in what seemed like silt, the front tire washed out and I went down. Another raspberry on the left knee. I simply cannot unclip that left foot. I think I'm a klutz. As noted by my handle.:whistling:
 
I did that at Whiting the first time I rode there. The trails are just so wide with slow traffic clogging it up. You wonder why they're going so slow and pass 'em, then hit the brakes before a turn sharper than 90d, and find they aren't slowing you down... end up going straight and off the trail.
 
Everyone's gotta have a funny spill. I suppose the most embarrassing/funny one for me wasn't even on a bike. When I was a kid, like all kids, I was into skateboarding. My skateboarding skills were about as good as my bmx and mtb skills. That being said, I had little to no skill what so ever.

Anyhow, one day my friends and I thought it would be fun to ride down the driveway on our stomachs. Everyone was stopping before the sidewalk. We were in a cul de sac, so I thought it would be cool to just ride out into the street. Well, the gutter stopped me from getting out to the street, and I basically rubbed the ground with my face as if it were my brake.

For the next few weeks people were calling me Rudolph because of the huge scab on my nose.
 
Varaxis said:
Sounds like you are imagining that crash while being clipped in. Love how his non-biking instincts kicked in to adjust at the last second to have his feet go clear above the bar, between his hands.
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I'm not sure if that was intentional or not, but it was probably the best move he could have made. Full disclosure: I don't know these guys at all, but I saw this video a few years ago and could not stop laughing. I think it was posted on STR back then too.
 
A couple of years ago, I crashed on the GLC drop in Whistler... in front of hundreds of people.
It all started when I got a rear flat on the upper mountain. I decided to ride to our cabin which was off the trail 3/4 down A-Line. It was still a 45 min slow ride down. My buddies would do one more run and I would meet them at Garbanzo for lunch which is right at the bottom by the lift. By the time I got to the cabin, changed the tire, hiked up the hill back to A-Line, I was pretty tired. I put on my helmet, left my gloves in my pocket, and took off. I figured Lower A-line isn't difficult, real quick, I'd just cruise down for lunch. At the bottom I hit the GLC drop and clipped my pedal on a rock on the landing. I went OTB and slid 10-15 feet on my head and right shoulder with my bike on top. I heard the collective OOOHHH from hundreds of people on deck of Garbanzo and people in the lift line. I immediately got up, the embarrassment hurt more than the road rash, and I heard my friends calling me from the restaurant. Too ashamed to stop, I went straight through the village and back to the cabin to clean up.
Now it's something we all laugh about.
BTW, I have seen a thousand people hit that drop, and I have never seen anyone come close to crashing. Alcohol may have been contributing a factor.
 
The new GLC drop is a shell of its former grandeur. I too was deathly afraid of falling off that drop. I actually avoided it for a loooooong time for fear of making an ass of myself in front of that many people. And, like you, I've watched 100s of people do that drop and I've never seen anyone crash.

Beer and appetizers on the deck at GLC at sunset (like 10pm) is one of the great things in life. Especially after the weekly local races.
IMG_0643.JPG


Although my wife hated it...
IMG_0641.JPG



My first trip to Whistler, my first full day of riding, I somehow wedged my front wheel a little funny on Karate Monkey, as it drops next to the A-Line Bridge.
Karate Monkey Entry2.JPG


I did a slow endo, catapulted over the single rail fence (hitting my lower back on my beltline on the rail) and flipping two more times into the creek at the bottom - staring up at my feet. I was alone and humiliated. And very badly bruised it turns out. I rode conservatively the rest of the day, and the next two days, but my ass cheek swelled to twice the size of the other one, and the hematoma on my back was an unreal shade of eggplant about 10" by 6".

Here's a partial glimpse about five days later (my apologies if it's TMI):
Shorts Bruise1.JPG
 
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jimbowho said:
Long ago at the very west end of Roscoe, we called it the "horsetrails" from there I would make my way to rocky peak. On the way back, and almost to the trailhead was a long semi strait hard packed 8'ft wide down grade with good vision. It was hot, I tied my jersey in a knot on my top tube. At about 20 maybe 23 mph coasting, my jersey came loose and landed on the back of my front wheel (not suspension corrected)(I did not save it) Two girls on horses came along about seven minutes later, and one asked sir are you all right? That made it worse! The Sir part. So I got up, I told them I tipped over pretty hard, we had some laughs, pulled my shirt out of the fork and continued on.
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I think is worst when a "sir" calls you "sir". It happened to me and probably be a more reoccurring moment as I continue to get older :-(.
 
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